I have a little secret....

I might be getting a visit from Michelle next weekend. I can't tell Peyton...just in case. She said if she does get to come back to Indy, she is not stepping a foot outside of my door. If anyone wants to see her, they have to come to my house to do it..lol. That's my gurl! Please cross your fingers for me. I really miss her and I know Peyton is missing her "fairy God mother" We don't get to visit her in Florida until June..we can't wait that long. for real.

At least it was for charity

Randomness

Work has been busy. My manager is leaving and that makes me sad.
Peyton is doing well in school and loves it.
I haven't spoken to Travis in 3 mos. It usually seems like it's getting easier but some days I still feel like I'm lost without him.
Michelle is settled in Florida. I am so happy for her but at the same time, so sad for myself.
I've put myself back into the single life and have met a few interesting men. I'm sorry, did I say men? I meant boys. I hate being single.
Fall is here and I love fall! Peyton is going to be a witch for Halloween. Can you believe it? She's not going to be a princess? Crazy, I know.
I helped my neice put together a (dead) punk rocker costume. That was fun. She is going to look cute!
I still enjoy to scrapbook. Sometimes it seems it's my only outlet. I need to start a journal to put all this shit it. kwim?
My mom is my savor. If she didn't pick up Peyton from school everyday. I wouldn't know what I would do.
I'm excited that Thanksgiving is around the corner. My sister Lisa said she wants to help me this year. That's a first..is she finally growing up?
Well that's enough randomness. Back to life.

I'll leave you with some random photos.

Well she did it

And we both survived. My baby is offically a big girl now and boy did she love everything little thing about school. I stayed for awhile and watched her and once I noticed that she wasn't look back at me anymore..I snuck out. And when I picked her up..she was beaming. We had so much to talk about during dinner...and guess what Chelle?...she taught me the criss cross applesauce and all I could do was think of you :) I took some more pictures this morning because she wore that green and blue flowered silky skirt I got her with the blue polo and her black sketcher boots..man, she looked cute..almost as cute as yesterday. I put a few pictures on my photobucket account of yesterday, if anyone wants to see them, shoot me an email. I guess now I am excited about this new step in our lives and to watch her grow and learn. She blows me away...I just love her so much :) Well have a great day.

Kindergarten woes

My little itty bitty baby is going to Kindergarten in less than a week and yes I am a nervous wreck. Is it bad to not want your baby to grow up? I really wish I could hide her from this crazy crazy world so she doesn't ever see any of the evil out there but I know that to be a good mom is to let go sometimes. I'll be crying all week...please keep me in your thoughts :(

Michelle left this morning....

And I miss her already :(

Well, I finally got a new computer

Love it.
Got a free flat screen monitor.
Got a free memory upgrade.
Got a great deal.
However, I also got free dial up for 6 mos and have been using it and...
OMG..I can't take it anymore.
I can not upload any LOs or photos without it taking forever...seriously..forever!
I must go back to to cable.
Michelle and Cory gave me a photo program that ROCKS!
I can not wait to upload some photos I fooled with..but again..dial up. Not going to happen yet.
Played on Myspace last night and had fun changing my background and Icons.
About to put SIMS2 on..yeah :)
Well, that's all I have today.
Hope all is going well in blogger land.

I'm so bummed!

My computer at home crashed. That is not the worse part. I believe that it might be my hard drive which means I will probably lose a lot of stuff. So, the worse part is that I never got a chance to back up my photos. I know I should smack my self in the head! I can not believe that I might have lost them. Another thing that sucks is that I can not upload any layouts to 2peas either. Seriously. want. to. cry. Please pray for me.
Must. start. shopping. for. new. computer.NOW!

Life today

Well I know I have not been on this thing in like forever but I need to get used to using it because my very best friend and neighbor is moving...and not just down the street.
She is moving to Florida!
I really don't know what I am going to do when she leaves.
The worse thing is that she is moving before the new school year.
She is Peyton's godmother and won't be here to see her go to kindergarten.
It is very sad to me.

But being the strong woman I am,
I am going to stay positive for her.
We have been apart before when she moved to Colorado to go to college and we stayed close and never missed a beat.
But obviously I am going to make her a scrapbook before she leaves. I am very excited for that! I just bought my first set of of scrapbook paint and have used it on every layout I have done since. It brings out the artist in me and I have some great ideas for her book!

Yesterday was my...gulp..31st birthday and her present is a web cam so that we can still watch our reality tv together. So that rocks!
I had to work. Which wasn't too bad, I guess. But it kinda reminds you that your an adult. But when I got home Travis came to pick me up for dinner and brought me the most beautifully wrapped present I have ever seen!

Isn't that purrrty?? Gotta love it!

Carey gave me some scrapbook money...woot woot! Gettin' some stamps with it!!

Carolyn and Michelle stayed and we had to try to balance watching Lost, American Idol and The Amazing Race finale. That was hard! We had to watch all of Lost because you NEVER want to miss any of that!

Seriously I will have to talk about that at another time.

I'm mad that Elliott got voted off, cause I think he has a beautiful natural voice!

But I am stoked that the Hippies won the Amazing Race!

Since I have made up my mind as to what I want to do for Michelle's scrapbook I have been taking pictures like crazy! Well this evening Michelle and Peyton were sitting on the floor reading a book in front of the window and the light was shining right on them and I got some awesome shots...

I can't wait to play with those pictures..there are a ton more :)

Well I better get going. I promise I'll be back (said in my best arnold voice)

*~Pals~*

A Laugh is a smile that burst

Devastation

Devastation is what I feel right now. I love him but he is unsure if he can be a good dad to Peyton. I don't want to lose him but Peyton is my soul and nothing will ever come before her...nothing. He moved out last night, he says he loves me and none of our problems are due to "us" but all the other stuff..him drinking too much, Peyton treating him like the enemy at times. That is the hardest part. I always thought love was enough to survive but I am coming to the conclusion that it's not. It much more than that. Yesterday he talked about marriage and today his stuff is back at his parents house and not near me. He says he is devastated because he loves us both but does not know how to control Peyton. I can't blame him, she has been exposed to the movie "Signs" by my "wonderful" sister and has crawled in bed with us almost every night and refuses to sleep in her own room. I know that has to be hard for him, to not have his own space. He has taken on the responsibility, when it wasn't his. Adam walked out on me and Peyton...he didn't. He's the one that stepped up. I guess we are still together but going in the opposite direction than I ever hoped.